The Guayajama Family Tree
Mama Guayajama went to the well
To draw a bucket of water for her baby boy
When she saw an Iguana laughing with a llama
Singing, “Ha Ha, Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Hee Hee, Hoo Hoo!”
Papa Guayajama went to the well
To draw a bucket of water for his baby boy
When he saw an Iguana laughing with a llama
With Mama Guayajama in the tree
Singing, “Ha Ha, Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Hee Hee, Hoo Hoo!”
Sister Guayajama went to the well
To draw a bucket of water for her baby brother
When he saw an Iguana laughing with a llama
With Mama Guayajama and Papa Guayajama in the tree
Singing, “Ha Ha, Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Hee Hee, Hoo Hoo!”
Baby Guayajama went to the well
To draw a bucket of water for his nice warm bath
When he saw an Iguana laughing with a llama
With Mama Guayajama and Papa Guayajama and Sista Guayajama in the tree
Singing, “Ha Ha, Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Hee Hee, Hoo Hoo!”
So the family laughed and the neighbors laughed
And before you knew it, the whole town was laughing
So the country laughed and the continent laughed
And before you knew it, the whole world was laughing
With Mama Guayajama and Papa Guayajama and Sister Guayajama and Baby
Guayajama in the tree
It was a family, that got the whole world laughing in a tree
It was a family, that got the whole world laughing in a tree
Singing, “Ha Ha, Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Hee Hee, Hoo Hoo!”
Ha Ha Hey Hey and don’t forget the iguana.
Ha Ha Hey Hey and don’t forget that llama.
Boomerang
Bang Bang Bang boomerang Bang!
Bangs you on the back of the head as you’re walkin’ down the hall
And your books go flyin’ and everybody laughs as you fall.
You think why why me why does it happen to me
Oh why why me it always happens to me
But then you remember laughin’ at Paul when he slipped on the ice
Even though he was kind and he treated you nice
You threw a bad boomerang and its coming back to get you now
When you throw a bad boomerang ya gotta watch out
Cause they come back fast and they’ll make you shout!...
Bang Bang Bang Boomerang
Comin’ at you nice and smooth and you catch it this time
It’s a nice and warm compliment from Maggie that makes you feel fine
She says, “Hey you’re the best, wanna go out and play”
Well Yes sirree, Its your lucky day
You think Why why me why did it happen to me
Am I just lucky? Oh, how can it be?
And then you remember Asking Jake to eat his ice cream cone
At the table with you instead of sitting alone
You threw a kind boomerang and it’s coming back to make you feel fine
It’s comin’ back to make you feel fine
When you throw a kind boomerang its your lucky day
Cause they come back nice and they make you say…
Wiggle Worm
I gotta wiggle worm in my bed tonight
I gotta wiggle worm in my shoe
I gotta wiggle worm in my head tonight
I don’t know what I’m gonna do
I’ll probly…
Chorus:
Wiggle woggle whack-a-doodle wickle me too
Hank-a-panky hack-a-yankee straight to the zoo
With the skunky monkey sack-a-junky fiddly who…
I still don’t know what I’m gonna do
I got a giggly goat in my bed tonight…
I got a ranky rhino in my bed tonight…
I gotta wumpy whale in my bed tonight…
And now I know just what I’m gonna do
Für Elise
I used to take piano from my neighbor
And we would labor
Without cease
over the keys
Up until the day of my recital
That day was vital
I played a song
Though some notes were wrong
I used to take piano from my neighbor
She was in favor
Of minuets
And romantic duets
From JS Bach to Rachmaninov
We’d sit and rock
To the ticking tock
Of the metronome on the piano
She’d sing soprano
When we would play
Songs from broadway
She’d play the keys
With grace and ease
Her favorite piece
Was Fur Elise
Boogylicious
Aren’t tissues kind of a waste of paper
Sometimes I wonder why they exist
Don’t be afraid of boogers
Save a Kleenex use your wrist
Gross ones, clean ones, really really deep ones
Red ones and green ones, makin you lose sleep ones
Gooey ones and crusty ones, the substitute for glue ones
Damp ones and dusty ones, the you are proud of you ones
Chorus:
Who needs tissues when we got fingers
You’re ick pickin’ stick, it’s your booger slinger
You hold one nostril down and it’s your farmer lugey flinger
Who needs tissues when we got fingers
I mean there’s way too many people in this world
To use a tissue searchin for the holy grail
I think I got a quick solution to pollution
All ya gotta do is use your fingernail
Fat ones and skinny ones, hangin’ of your nose ones
Huge ones and mini ones, drippin to your toes ones
Stuck ones and runny ones, eat ‘em on the go ones
yucky and funny ones, show your best friend Joe ones
Barky McBarkerson
Well we had a doggy
When we lived on the farm
His name was Barky
He didn’t do no harm
He’d bark all the day
And he’d bark all the night
Barky liked to howl at the moon
When the night sky was bright
Chorus:
Woof Woof Bark Bark, ruffy ruffo
Howl yipy yip, yipy ki-o
So when we moved to the city
We lived next door to a kitty
Barky kept a howlin proud
And the neighbors started scowlin loud
Cause in the city when ya bark
Ya gotta go to the park
And when the bulldogs wanna fight
The leash pulls you tight
And when the moons shinning big
Ya wanna howl, bark, and dig
But you’ll get no doggy dinner
If you’re a city barkin sinner
But one day I heard
The most mysterious sound
It sounded liked silence
And Barky couldn’t be found
Dad said a dog should bark free
And dog should bark loud
So Barky went back to the farm
On a white shiny cloud
Okee Dokee Duct Tape
Duct tape fixes everything
It fixed my fire truck
It fixed my plumbing problem
Kept the feathers on my duck
Kept my handle bars on my bike
Kept dad’s hair from falling out
Kept the diamond on mom’s ring
And the mustard on my saurkraut
I think about how I love duct tape
And remember why I buy it
When at last it comes time
For little brother to be quiet
Southern France
Could you be a
Would you choose to be a
If you had to be a
Would like to be a….
Teacher
Give a test
And help us do our best
Ya never get to rest
Until its sunny shiny summer
Doctor
Test my heart
And then go check my chart
Because you’re really smart
From your 40 years of schoolin
Author
Writin books
About ya catchin crooks
And then your leavin hooks
that make your readers wanna keep reading
Cowpoke
You go brandin steers
And then your taggin ears
And always facin fears
At every rattlesnake and fence post
SpaceMan
For the afternoon
You’re flyin to the moon
And soon to see Neptune
To meet a martian for a rootbeer
An Okee Dokee
Hop a train
And sleepin in the rain
From Spain to TubaLane
And then move on to Southern France –
Southern France, Southern France, Southern France…
Kiddo
Too much rug to make room for the floor
Too much excitement to make room for the bore
Too much play to make room for the chore
But when there’s too much of you kid
There ain’t nobody that’s blue kid
Too much yes and not enough no
Too much stop and not enough go
Too much fast and not enough slow down
Too much seen is not enough spoken
Too much fixed is not enough broken
Too much serious is not enough jokin
Kido kido kido I love You I love you, I love you,
kiddo kiddo kiddo I love you
Too many words, not enough song
Too much cowbell and not enough gong
Too much right and not enough wrong
But when there’s too much of you Kid
There ain’t nobody that’s blue Kid
Too much T.V. causes too much delusion
Too many cars cause too much pollution
Too many wars and there ain’t no solutions
But when there’s too much of you Kid
There ain’t nobody that’s blue Kid
Woody the Apple Tree
I’ve got a friend named Woody
He used to be a normal kid
But one day he didn’t listen to his mom
You won’t believe just what he did
He swallowed an apple seed
Poor little Woody
He swallowed an apple seed
And turned into an apple tree
His hands and arms were branches
And his fingers looked like twigs
You could pick an apple right off him
And he grew to ten feet big (slide whistl)
His skin was just plain bark
And for a while he looked like a moose
But it was pretty cool
Cause he pee was apple juice
He met a girl named Evergreen
She turned into a pine tree
She swallowed a pinecone
Poor girl Evergreen
She swallowed a pinecone
And turned into a pine tree
The couple wanted a baby
So that’s just what they did
Now they’re happily ever after
With their pine-apple kid
Embarrassed
One day I woke up on the wrong side of the bed
And the rest of the day was the most embarrassing day I every had
Different colored socks, dressing in the dark
Forgot to tie my shoes, and tripped in the park
Then I got splashed by mud on my way to school
Fell asleep in class and began to drool
That’s when my voice cracked as I answered the teacher
Missed the soccer ball, and kicked the bleacher
Dropped my books in the hall, couldn’t help but blush
Crashed my bike on the rocks in front of my crush
School pictures with dirty clothes
Smiling for the camera with boogers in my nose
Chorus:
And I turned red, how embarrassing
From toe to head, I was perishing
Oh how I hated feeling so shy
Humiliated, wishing I could cry
With shame on my face
I exclaimed what a disgrace
I heard them laugh and I heard them mock
When I got a wedgie from the football jock
I heard them taunt and I heard them hoot
When I jumped in the pool and lost my bathing suit
I saw them point and I saw them joke
When coach shook my hand and my fingers broke
I saw them pester and I saw them gawk
At the way I act and the way I talk
But at the end of the day
All I could say
Was why cant they be
As funny as me
Too Much Time in Candy Land
When I woke up this morning
I’m sure I was seeing double
My headached like a pancake
Last night’s slumber party was trouble
Too much butterscotch
Too much snickers
Too much lollipops
Too much twizzlers
Chorus:
Yodelahee yo yodalahee yo yodelahee
So much sugar I can’t stand
Too much time in candy land
Yodelahee…
There’s skittles in my pillowcase
And bubblegum in my hair
Found a butterfinger in my glove
And bottlecaps are everywhere
Milk duds, baby ruth’s and whatchamacallits
Pixie stix, yes there were lots
Ring pops, push pops and pop rocks
My teeth were stuck together with pounds of Dots
12 packs of M+M’s
I put a hundred gobstoppers down
I’m not sure if the last one I had
Was an almond joy or a mounds
Life savers didn’t save me
Smarties made me a dummy
Mike and Ike were not my friends
And Laffy Taffys weren’t so funny
Pillow
Pillow sweet pillow
Hold stillow sweet pillow
I have to go to bed
Mom’s making me go to bed
Wanna stay up past bed time
Cause I love a midnight snack
But I just brushed my teeth
And I jump underneath
My blanket and hit the sack
With…
Pillow sweet pillow
Hold stillow sweet pillow
Gotta get in my pajamas
Say g’night to my grammas
Angels are a-lightin and a-guardin’ and a-guidin’
There’s nothing better it seems
Than pillow fights in your dreams
‘specially when you got…
Pillow sweet pillow
Hold stillow sweet pillow
Pillow sweet pillow
For rillow sweet pillow
Waiting for the Sun
When the rains fall
The worms come out and crawl
No they can’t stay under
When they hear the thunder
Of mud in their halls
That’s pushing down their walls
Until they have no home
And they’re crawlin’ all alone
Chorus:
Outside in the rain
Lyin’ on the sidewalks
By the park or the train
Takin’ shelter under beanstalks
So when you’re walkin’ countin’ dollars
Don’t forget to mind the crawlers
Cause their just like you and me
Waiting for the sun
When the rains fall
The worms come out and crawl
They can hear the sound
When the raindrops start to pound
On their roof like tears
Giant splashes hurt their ears
So they go outside
And slide the gutters for a ride
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