Lucy and Tighty

Lefty Lucy loved to lolly lackadaisically
But Righty Tighty went By the book alphabetically
So when Lefty Lucy loosened up unapologetically
Righty Tighty tightened up rather introvertedly 

Though some would say, they didn’t stand a chance
Not even as friends, let alone a romance
Far from compatible, probably problematical
Not enough in common to make it automatical
But radical love and fanatical love
Triumph over mathematical love
Stop talking theoretically, try saying it poetically
The whole wide world is held together magnetically

‘Cause opposites attract, opposites attract
In the end baby, opposites attract

On the dance floor, they were known for
Having moves that expressed themselves aesthetically
Lucy was groovy, dancing to a different drummer energetically
Tighty politely followed the right steps predictably
Solo, they were so-so, but together they’d be better exponentially

So Righty Tighty found his beat
And Lefty Lucy unwound her feet
They danced unexpectedly together attractively
They did the twist all night long so beautifully

It seems unthinkable in this screwy world
For a right-handed boy to love a left-handed girl
But this story, contradictingly, was written ironically
‘Cause in the end they ended up happily ever afterly

 

Water Balloon

For lyrics see title.

Antidisestablishmentarianism

What is the longest word
In the English language? (2x)

Antidisestablishmentarianism

28 letters in one little word
28 letters ain’t that absurd?

That’s more than the alphabet (2x)
That’s 2 more than the alphabet

Now I’m gonna spell it for you
Cause that’s what kid’s musicians do:
A-N-T-I-D-I-S-E-S-T-A-B-L-I-S-H-M-
E-N-T-A-R-I-A-N-I-S-M (2x) All together now!

It’s got 1 R, 1 L, 2 M’s and a D
3 E’s, 3 T’s, 3 N’s and a B
4 A’s, 4 S’s
And best of all, it’s got 5 I’s
(That’s more than Mississippi)

(But what does it mean?)
Opposition to the withdrawal of state support
Or recognition from an established church,
Especially the Anglican church of 19th century England.  
(What’s that - supposed to mean?)

Who cares…

 

Auctioneer

Who’s the fastest talker in the world
Well that’s the Auctioneer
How does he do it and what does he say?
Now you’re about to hear
(Lights, camera, auction!)

We’ll start the biddin’ at 25 25 dollar
Can I get a 25 dollar?
Thank you sir, now keep it alive
With 35 35 give it a nice holler

Did I hear 40 from the lady in green?
It’s a 40 dollar bid, but you gotta be seen
Now 45 45 dollars in the back
Make it 55 dollars from the man in black

Now 60, 60
Don’t get yourself left behind
Now we’ve got 75 75 75 dollars
But you can’t change your mind

I’m lookin for 85 85 chance of a life time
95 95 give me a life line
Do I hear a hundred heck of a deal?
Will you give a hundred? That’s a steal!

Now there it is 100 in the front row
Hundred dollars can’t be a no-show
Gotta be bold if the bid’s gonna hold
Goin’ once, going twice, now it’s
SOLD!

 

What We Got

We got runnin’ rivers and blowin’ wind
We got leaves that fall and grow back again
We got a sun that warms us up just right
We got a moon that lights our way at night

We got what we got and we’ll get what we get
It’s a gift that we got so we gotta give it
And don’t forget, don’t forget, don’t forget
You get what you give

We got a fishin’ pond that we can fish on
We got dreams to dream that we can wish on
We got bugs for helping the flowers to grow
We got clouds for dropping on down the snow

We got stars for shining and lakes for reflecting
We got babies for whining and parents for protecting
We got brothers and sisters from all different places
We got billions of people from millions of races
We got farms for food and air for breath
We got land for life and earth for death

We got this’s and thats’s and those’s and these
We got it’s and I’s and he’s and she’s
We got me’s and you’s and you’s and me’s
We got her’s and his and them’s and we’s
We got it all right now but there’s no guarantees
It’s all of ours so take care of it please

 

The Naked Truth

Way back in the 1930’s
There lived a dude
Whose favorite thing to do
Was to walk around nude

He would jump out of his bed
Early in the mornin’
Runnin’ round so bare
As the skin that he was born in

He’d go to the mercantile
Wearin’ nothin’ but his boots  
And the only thing he’d buy
Was birthday suits

He’d say “Dogs don’t wear clothes
Except them city dogs with sweaters
Neither do birds or bears or bees
And by gosh I think that’s better”

People thought he was crazy
Oh the rumors they would spread
But he just didn’t give a hoot
About what people said

He was naked all the day
All except one hour
That’s right my friends, this little boy
Wore clothes in the shower 

I’ll tell you the naked truth
About his philosophy on style
It was,  “Wear what you want, or nothin’ at all
But don’t cover up that smile”

 

The Extraterrestrials

The Extraterrestrials
Used to knock knock knock on my door
But the Extraterrestrials
Never come to play anymore

They had all the best toys this side of Mars
And a ray gun made of tin
Playing night games with their flashlights made of stars
I think they always let us win

We built a tree house and they told stories
About building pyramids at Giza
They helped us chalk up the sidewalk like they helped Da Vinci
Paint the Mona Lisa

Instead of mowing lawns, we would mow crop circles
For intergalactic tag
Instead of riding bikes we would ride in spaceships
Using tractor beams to capture the flag

One day they were gone without saying goodbye
And they never left a trace
No light show, not even an abduction
Just gone into outer space

But then after a while I got a postcard
That floated down from out of the air
It said “All’s well in Roswell
But there’s no neighbors like you anywhere”